Usually we always divide our own and other people’s behaviors into positive and negative. We strongly reject negative behaviors and affirm positive behaviors . But in fact behind negative behaviors there is often a positive nee hidden. Just like procrastination behind procrastination there is often an important positive nee wanting to be perfect. Although the nee to be perfect does not conform to objective laws because nothing in this world is absolutely perfect it is indee a positive nee and is good. Just like robert’s father. Smoking every day is an obvious negative behavior but what leads to this negative behavior is a positive nee. The desire to have the only time for oneself. This demand is very legitimate. Therefore when we see negative behaviors of ourselves and others and feel repulse.
Similarly for a person with procrastination
Disguste and angry we can actually think Thailand Phone Number Data about what kind of positive nees are hidden behind this negative behavior. If we can find this positive nee then we can change negative behavior into positive behavior. For example for robert’s father since he already knows that the unmet nee behind smoking is to have his own time. He can satisfy this nee in another way to have his own time. For example go for a walk alone every day or go to a cafe alone every day. Now that he knows that the unmet nee behind procrastination may be to do things as perfectly as possible he can reframe a perfect standard for himself. For example in his opinion only a score of 95 points was considere perfect.
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Now he can lower this standard from 95 points India Phone Number List to 80 points. In this way he can meet the standards more easily and will not be delaye due to this. 02 not only behavior but our emotions are also divide into positive and negative. We all reject negative emotions and hope that we will have no negative emotions and always be in positive emotions. But in fact behind every negative emotion we have there is a positive unmet deep nee. Told me that whenever others deny her question her or look down on her she will be particularly angry. At this time she always feels that her chest is particularly swollen like a balloon about to explode.