After crying enough I will wipe away my tears and go back to talk and laugh with them. . Because I didnt want others to see that something was wrong with me. In fact I was helpless fearful and cowardly. I had never experience the test of life and death. I even wrote a suicide note alone in an empty classroom. During that time I misse my family very much but I didnt dare. Facing them I am afraid that I will lose control of my emotions. After I wrote my suicide note I suppresse my smile and had a video chat with my family. Everything was still normal at home. The familiar smiling faces of my mother and brother.
After all I was still young
I laughe very happily that time because Indonesia Email List I was afraid it would be the last time. I wante to say goodbye affectionately while they were not paying attention. Look at them. and I really didnt have the courage to commit suicide decisively. During those few days when I was hesitant I accidentally read zhihu popular science knowlege and met a relatively professional person. He can be said to be my first teacher and he taught me a lot about this aspect. Including how to use meicine treatment steps etc. Which benefite me a lot. Including those few days something very healing happene for me.
I have always been a roadcrazy
I decide to face it alone tore up the suicide note Philippine Email List and starte popular science crazily. From then on I embarke on the road of survival alone. I learne that if you are diagnose you nee to go to the disease control center which does not cost money. After being diagnose I can get free meicine which is a great comfort to a poor student like me. wellbehave and obeient person but I also turne into a bad student. I trie every means to ask for leave skip classes save money sneak out use my mobile phone to navigate and go out alone to search for disease control in our area which made many firsts. The first time I took the subway the first time I took a bus in a big city the first time I had the courage to ask a stranger for directions the first time I left school and ran very far in a strange city.